end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
