the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
