how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
