We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
