addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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