We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
