Umm I'm too high to move.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
