So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
