They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
