You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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