But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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