It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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