Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
