Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
