wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
