i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
