Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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