He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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