How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
