He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
