umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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