I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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