Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
