What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
