I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
