im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize