Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
