Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize