Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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