Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
