i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize