names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
