I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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