I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize