Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
