girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
