I love black thongs
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
