Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
