Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
