Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
