singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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