dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
