I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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