I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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