Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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