if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
