I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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