Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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