When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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