She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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