Yo dont text me then not text me
im holly from the hills drunk
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize