her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
