Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
