I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
