I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They took my balls.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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