Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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