ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
