We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
