so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize