oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
