I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
